It's just business. Easier said than done.

Conflict resolution and confrontation have never been my strong points. I've always been the peace maker and keeper in life, and not one to dishevel the ground I and others walk upon. Sadly though, not everyone is like that. And there come times when you need to grow a pair and stick up for yourself, even when all you really want to do is wave your magic wand and make them disappear into thin air and pretend that nothing happened.

Yesterday was one of those times.

And what was it about? I'll give you 3 guesses. What? Did you say "money"?
How did you know?

I hate money. And I hate what it does to people. I hate that we need and depend on it so much to survive, and how sometimes we have to fight for it.

I hate even more, that this money battle was with my Ex-Boss. I honestly thought that yesterday was going to burn the bridges from both sides until there would be no evidence that a bridge even existed.

And why? Because assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups. And a misunderstanding can have dire consequences.

But I knew I was right. Which made it slightly easier to push "send" from my drafts box. I was sick to my stomach nonetheless. But inside I knew, if she were in my position, she would be doing the same thing.

Nerves. The nerdy younger brother of Adrenalin.

A few hours later, after many, many cocktails, I checked my inbox, preparing myself for whatever slander and arrows would be thrown my way.

And to my surprise. No arrows. No slander. But a realization of fault.

I didnt expect that.

I milled over it this morning. She made a request for a compromise.

I always value my Dad's opinion, especially when it comes to business. I can learn so much from this great man. So I asked for his advise.

And so I agreed to accept her compromise. This way, we can both win some. And it seems the bridge is still intact.

Lesson learnt: it is just business. And as difficult as a decision may be, if its right, and just, you need to make it. Emotions are not part of business, but you can still remain fair and retain your integrity.

I have so much to learn.

Wow. Seriously has it been this long?

Ok well, Im still alive. And kicking. Fancy that. So much has happened in the last 8 months. So much so that I would have to write a book to fill you in on all the drama in's and out's. However, Im not going to bore you with that. Maybe just the highlights? That could work.

Ok, here it goes:

Remember I was really into the Dude (from work) and we had hooked up...
I saw him making out with my boss at MY house, at MY party. [not cool]
Him and my boss started a relationship.
It was extremely weird around the office. [thats an understatement actually]
I maintained my professionalism. [which is a lot harder that it seems]
Got over it.
They broke up.
Rumours continued to fly. [as they do. no one is ever capable of minding their own business]
Blah blah blah...months pass.
My flatmate quits her job.
She packs up and leaves for Spain to study Spanish and travel.
I get retrenched the day after she leaves.
Effective immediately.
More vicious rumours. [apparently from me? WTF?]
Tension.
Wobbly bridges.
Freelance. [thats me]

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. In a nutshell.

So now Im a freelance designer. Working from home. Strange. Not bad, just strange. And slightly lonely from time to time. I dont have a flatmate to keep me company anymore, or bounce ideas off from. Creative problem solving.
Yes, that does mean that cabinfever is rife. And if not treated properly, it has the potential to warp your social and interactive behaviour. I am trying my absolute best to eliminate all traces of said cabinfever in a quest to retain brain function as well as acceptable social behaviours. I still find it quite a strange occurrence when my first human interaction/conversation is at 6pm in the evening. I have found myself fumbling over sentences even. Ha ha. Thats when I wish I had a remote control and could push rewind and start over.

But alas, no such button...

Surprise!

My Dad is doing very well. He was sent home from the hospital on Wednesday afternoon, and is back at home with my mom. I am so overjoyed that he is going to be ok, infact, he will be a healthier man after having those stents put in. The doctor said that he must just take it easy for the next couple of weeks, but he should be right as rain by the end of the month.

I've had many sighs of relief over the last few days, and started feeling like I could maybe try to relax. But that idea was quickly nipped in the bud yesterday.

Goddity was retrenched in January, but our good friend Narc. It was a bit of a difficult situation, because Narc and Goddity are best friends, but Narc was also his employer. Retrenchment is not a fun thing, especially when there's friendship involved. So that was a bit of a weird situation, one that the rest of are not sure how to handle I suppose? We love them both and dont want to cause a rift of sides or whatever, you know what I mean?
Anyway, so Goddity has been out of work since January, and taking casting jobs here and there to bring in some cash. But, what with the whole recession, finding a job has not been an easy task.

Until yesterday. Well, yesterday was when I found out, through a brief facebook IM conversation:

Goddity: I've got some news for you

Snapper: Really? Please tell me that you've found a job?!

Goddity: Well, sort of, yes.

Snapper: That's awesome! Im so happy for you! What's the job?

Goddity: Well, it's just a bit of bartending work, but at least it will be bringing in some money.

Snapper: Yeah, that's true. Is that why you replied that you wont be able to make my birthday drinks next weekend? Because you'll be working?

Goddity: Not entirely...

Snapper: Well then why?

Goddity: Because that bartending job is in London.

Snapper: WTF?!?!

Goddity: I leave in a week. Surprise!

This sucks royal donkey balls.
In the space of a month, Im going to have to say goodbye to 4 good friends. First it was Fleebag and Beanbag, tonight its Nessie - who is leaving to be a photographer on a cruise ship for 6 months to a year, and now its going to be Goddity as well, for an indefinite period!

PEOPLE! STOP LEAVING!

Im gonna miss my Goddity too much.
Who's gonna motorboat me now?

I hope it doesnt pour three's

Well they say that things happen in three's. And that when it rains, it pours. Well, it's true about the pouring thing. Hopefully not true about the three's.

My dad had a mild heart attack on Sunday morning. He had experienced a tight vice grip in his chest in the early hours, and my mom insisted on taking him to the hospital, but he refused. Being a male, they all think they're Superman and immune to sickness.
He still insisted on going to church and playing bass guitar, as he plays in the band there. Can you believe it, but when he came off the stage, my mom said he was white in the face and sweating like a pig. It was then that she refused to take no for an answer, he was going to the hospital whether he liked it or not! It was then that I got the call from my mom, to say she was taking my dad to the hospital, but that I mustnt panic as they dont know whats wrong yet. How do you not panic?!
Anyway, about 30mins later, I got another call from my mom to say that they had rushed him into the ICU in the heart unit and they were talking about a blood clot. I could hear in my mom's voice that she wasnt doing well. This was all such a big shock. My brother and I went straight through to the hospital, but had to wait for ages to see him or to even hear what was going on.
I have never been so worried.

So many people came through to support us, and our phones were ringing non stop from friends and family who had us in their thoughts and prayers. Its in these instances that you realise who the people are that love you, and what the importance of family really is.

We eventually got to go in and see him. Only 2 people at a time per bed, no cellphones, and you had to disinfect your hands first. It was very difficult to see my strong dad, lying on a bed with pipes and cords and cables all over him. I could see that he was worried too, his eyes were welled up, but he was trying so hard to be strong. I had to keep myself from crying there, I didnt want him to see me freak out and worry him even more. I just told him that I loved him, and he would be fine.

What a surreal experience. He went for an angiogram at 5pm, and they put in 2 stents. The one artery was completely blocked, so they put a stent in that one, and another was partially blocked so the other stent went in there. There was a 3rd artery that had narrowed and it needs a stent too, but they couldnt do it at the same time, as my dad was experiencing quite alot of pain. Can you believe that they did all that on local aneasthetics, with a camera that goes through the groin up to the heart. How amazing!
They also put in a balloon pump that forces the blood through the arteries in order to dissolve the blood clot.

They removed the pump yesterday, and he is doing much better. Ive been staying over at my mom's place and going to visit him in the morning before work, and then visiting him again after work. They are super strict with their visiting times. But my boss has been so amazing and understanding, and has let me come in to work late every morning so that I can be with my dad. Her dad went through the same thing in December last year, so she knows what it feels like.

I went to visit him again this morning, he is doing better. They are going to be putting in the 3rd stent this afternoon, so Im praying that all goes well with that one. My dad seems to be himself again, joking around with his heart rate monitor - he discovered that he can alter the shapes of the respitory line when he breathes and passes some of the time manipulating the line with his breathing! ha ha, only my dad.
Im just glad that he is going to be ok. The doc even said that he might be able to come home tomorrow! Im so glad!

This past week has been so hectic. Last weekend we spent at the police station, and this weekend was the hospital. Im just really hoping that we're not going anywhere next weekend! Im not sure how much more trauma I can handle.
One thing's for sure though, it has definitely bonded our family so much! My dad's brother and family (the one's from the police station) came and spent Sunday with us at the hospital, and have come through most visiting hours as well.

Family is so important! Treasure the ones you have left!

Sweatfest 2009

The Earth is on fire. Well at least Cape Town is. Its been 38 degrees Celsius for the last two days in a row, and there doesnt seem to be a hope in existance of finding a cool cure for this sweaty epidemic.

I hardly slept last night. I lay there, naked with a wet face cloth over my body, in the hopes that the fiery air would cool me down. But it barely even dropped my body temperature from furnace to braai.

To make matters worse, my office doesnt have aircon. Winner of the Fail award if there ever was one. There's nothing like trying to get your brain to function in work mode when half of it is lying in a puddle next to your desk. I need a straw.

Aaah, Im typing this with sweaty fingers. Its disgusting. I just want to climb into a large body of water. Screw that, Im actually tempted to try climbing into the basin. But first, I would need to peel myself from my chair. Awesome. We might need the paramedics.

Newspaper headline:
GIRL FOUND FUSED TO CHAIR IN SWEATY MESS!

Eeew. Why do we even have sweat glands? Couldnt we just have a built in air conditioning unit that doesnt run on the excretion of putrid human liquids? That would be better for all us. Maybe not the aircon unit salesmen, but hey the rest of us would be pretty darn happy.

My brain is moosh.

Must. survive. without. melting. onto. floor.

Happy Sweatfest 2009!

Cheers for now

It was Fleebag and Beanbag's farewell last night. I havent seen them in a while, but recently we had been spending alot more time together after their wedding. Fleebag is one of my best friends from college days, and Beanbag was actually our lecturer. They hit it off in our 3rd year, and myself and BitchQueen had to keep it a secret from everyone else. Dating one of your students is not really considered the "right thing to do", so mum was the word when it came to the Bags. Who wouldve thought that 2 years later they would be married and on their way to the Drakensburg for 2 years?

BitchQueen emigrated to Australia a year ago. That was hard having to say goodbye. And now Fleebag is leaving as well. I hate goodbyes, Im awful at them. Some people just know all the right things to say. Me? I just give a horribly awkward "well, umm...keep in touch? Yeah, umm...bye" followed by a hug that you're not quite sure how long to keep going.
I think it would have been worse if it was at the airport. Then I think the tears would've arrived. But seeing as we in a public restuarant, filled with boozing drunkards, it kind of changed the mood.

I know I will see them again. Thats the best part in all of this. And I understand that things cant always be as they are forever. Sooner or later, someone's gonna pack up their shit and move on in life, its just how things go. Its all part of change and progression. But its not to say it's a bad thing. Its just different. It will take some getting used to. Things arent what they used to be. But Im happy for the Bags, because this will be a brand new start for them. Its something that they need, and I fully believe that it will be beneficial for them.

I just wish the frikkin Drakensburg wasnt so bladdy far away!

So I suppose the lesson in all of this, is appreciate the loved ones you have around you, while they're still in face to face distance. You never know when the winds of change will come a-blowing and whisk them off to a far off destination.

Blood is thicker than water

Never in all my life have I seen the kind of thing that I witnessed on Saturday. It has made me sick to the stomach, and I now understand how easy it is for a guy to get blamed when a woman points the finger.

The long and short of it starts off on Friday. It was supposed to be a family camping weekend away, with my folks and my brother, and my Dad's brother and my aunt and cousins, which had started off on a great note. We don't spend alot of time together as a family, even though we all live really close, it just seems that time gets ahead of us. So this weekend was meant to be a family bonding type weekend, you know...get to know the only cousins I have close to my age living in the same country. It was great, and we were having a blast.

Until Saturday evening. I will never be able to get that imagery out of my head, or be able to completely express in words the drama and trauma that was about to happen.

The meat was on the braai, and was almost ready for us to gauge our faces into, when my cousin Mechanic needed to make a call to nature. Being the strapping young lad that he is, and hungry as all hell, was worried that we would start eating without him, but we assured him we would wait. He runs off, and we carry on as usual, chatting and laughing...

About 10 minutes later, my cousin comes running out of the darkness, without his shirt on (that was the first thing I noticed, as I found it odd?) and he was yelling, "Help me! These women are attacking me! They've just accused me of video taping a woman showering in the ladies bathroom, but it wasnt me!" They had ripped off his shirt, ripped the chains from his neck and broke them, and he had scratches all over his chest and back. Immediately, we were all up on our feet as a hoard of crazy women came running toward my Aunt and Uncle's camping site. They were raging mad, and demanding for his cellphone, throwing around accusations like it was a free for all party.
He kept going over his story, that he was in the men's bathroom, sitting on the toilet in the cubicle, when someone called and asked if there was someone in there, and he answered that it was him (if he was guilty, why would he confess to being there?), and when he came out they ambushed him. There was so much screaming and yelling, it was difficult to even know what the hell was going on. By this time, one of the psycho bitches had rallied up the entire camping site on a vigilanty rampage after my cousin, and a mob surrounded us. It was very clear that this thing wasnt going to be resolved in an orderly manner, and the cops were called.

They arrived in the nick of time. Just as they pulled up, a husband of one of the psychos arrived, drunk as all hell, slammed his half finished beer on the police car bonnet, and proceeded to make a fistful lunge toward my cousin. He was in a drunken rage that was absolutely frightening to witness. I thought he was going to kill Mechanic. It was then that I realised we could no longer stay in this campsite, that these people were obviously beyond reason, and were not going to listen to a thing we said. It took about 10 guys to hold this drunkard off, and it was no easy task either, police backup was called, and arrived quite quickly.

The police were then talking about taking about taking my cousin away. I was freaking out. He is only 21, and would never do what these women had accused him of. He was raised way better than that. He's the kind of guy, that if a woman were in trouble, he would be the first one at her aid. What they were accusing him of, was absurd.
We were then asked by the police to come down to the police station, as we couldnt resolve anything at the scene, and we had to get a detective involved.
But there was no chance that we were going to leave our stuff there and then come back to that mob later. We had to leave. We had to pack up the caravan, and not come back. We feared for my cousins life, and for ours, and had to ask for the police to remain there until we had finished packing, for fear of what they might do once the police were no longer present. That was a scary thought.
This mob of angry people just stood and watched as we packed up what was supposed to be, a relaxing family weekend. I was angry. They had ruined our time together, and pointed fingers at the wrong person. The real culprit was still out there on the loose, but they were intent on the blame being placed on Mechanic.

We were followed and escorted to the police station, with the crazy accusers behind us. The police Station would be where we spent most of the night.

To cut an even longer story short, they didnt want to hear my cousins side of the story, and spent the whole time trying to get him to confess and plead guilty. Which he wasnt. The woman laid a charge of...get this: "Child Pornography"....because all of a sudden (this was never mentioned in their accusations earlier) there was a child in the bathroom,....so now its child pornography. What the FUCK! They posted bail at R300, which my uncle paid..only to find out that the receipt he was given was for "Admission of guilt" which was not the case at all! He had never signed anything of the sort. They were shuffled into a back room, and then into the yard and were escorted out of the Dorp and over the mountain pass.
They never got to lay their charge against the women who assaulted my cousin either.

And there we were, driving home from our camping trip at 2:30 in the morning, having not even had eaten our supper that we spent the evening preparing. The whole evening had been such a blur, a confusing, fucked up blur. And we were all shaken up because of it.
I cant even imagine how my cousin must be feeling. I was mad, and wanted to protect him as best I could, I dont even know what I wouldve done if it was my own brother. I would've taken a bullet for him.

There are some things in life that you just dont mess with. And family is one of them.

This whole thing is not over. My cousin is going to take this to court. They have not heard the last of us, and justice WILL BE served.